I don't know how to begin this entry...there are so many things going through my mind.
This week there will be some big changes in not only our family, but our extended family! My new little niece or nephew will be entering the world any day now! I can't wait to hold and squeeze and love on that little one! We continue to pray for their safe arrival, and for the entire family as they adjust to 4 little ones around now!! Justin and Bridgett are amazing parents, and it is so neat to see how God has blessed them with three wonderful children already!
I will be completely off bed rest on Friday. This is a very strange thing to think about. For 16 weeks (basically 4 months) I have either been on complete bed rest or modified bed rest. I haven't ran my vacuum, or done any cleaning besides what I can easily get to on the surface. I haven't worked in my yard, put together the nursery, or done any canning. I haven't driven anywhere besides to the pool, and haven't been grocery shopping, or much of any shopping for that matter! I haven't worked out, or ran. But, with my mom, mother-in-law, sister and husband's help, a lot has gotten done.
I have learned to let people help me. This is a hard concept for me. I thrive on helping and serving others-it is a way I speak love to people. To accept help has always been a hard and foreign concept to me. I have tended to feel guilty or that I needed to repay someone if they helped me out. But these past four months, I have learned that it is actually a gift to let people help you, and it's really an act of selfishness when you are too proud to ask for or allow help. When you allow someone else to help you-it not only blesses you, but blesses them because they WANT to serve you.
I have done a few projects: worked on my picture books, done some crocheting and cross stitching, read books and magazines, slowing organized parts of the house. I have been "shopping" at Babies R Us in a wheelchair, and been to several doctor appointments in Spokane. I have read to and prayed over our little girl.
To know I will basically have no restrictions after Friday is exciting and scary all at the same time. Exciting, because I can't wait to finish putting her room together, do some more of her laundry, and get our home ready for baby. Exciting because I can hopefully check a few things off my "list" before she comes. Exciting because that means we could be meeting our baby girl any day!
Scary for some of the same reasons above. I am not scared for labor for me, but for her. Just nervous and hoping that everything will go ok and that I will be able to deliver, even with my weakened body state. Nervous that something will happen during labor--and that I really have no control over any of it. But this is where my trust and faith must step in. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. The Lord has brought us to this point, and He won't give us anything more than He knows we can handle.
It is also an interesting concept to wrap my mind around the fact that I won't have to be nervous when I start getting contractions after Friday. Now, I'm up for a couple hours in the morning, and then I have to be down. If I"m up for too long in the afternoon/evening, I start getting more and more contractions-and after Friday, I won't have to sit down when that happens! It will be like retraining my body/mind.
I've also been thinking a lot about the baby we lost last year. A part of my heart will always ache for that little one that we won't meet until heaven someday. This baby doesn't "replace" him or her--and it's so hard when people ask "is this your first?" Sometimes I respond with "we lost one last year" and sometimes I say "yes" because I just don't want to explain myself. But this is our second child, and that is how I see it. When I see babies that are 10 months old (or around that age) right now, I think of our sweet baby. While I am so thrilled to meet this little girl, it only continues to remind me of how much I miss our first little one.
There are other things on my heart as well, but I suppose this is getting long, and you all don't want to know about ever detail of my life. I think I just needed a sounding board this morning. Thank you to each one of you who are so important to us! It has definitely been kind of a "lonely" time for me, and I appreciate all of you who keep pursing me!
I know our lives are about to dramatically change-and we couldn't be more excited. We just hope and pray that the Lord gives us wisdom in knowing what to do in this next stage of life!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
What's in a Name?
Our time is finally nearing of getting to meet our sweet baby girl! We are beyond thrilled and can not wait!
Although, we still can not settle on a name. This just seems like such a BIG decision, you know?! We are choosing what this girl will be know by. What people will call her, what she will say when she introduces herself.
Will it fit her?
Will people be able to spell and pronounce it?
Will it be "cute" while she is young, yet "cool" when she is in Jr. High, and still "professional" when she goes to interview for her first job?
Will it have a special meaning--especially with all that she has already been through?
Will it go well with her married name someday?
Will she like it?
How do you make that final decision? That's where we are at. We have several that we like, and that we feel like would fit her, but we just can't make that final decision. I don't really want to wait to "see" her, because she will look like whatever we decide to name her, right?
Ah, just one of the many decisions you get to make as a parent. But I feel like this is a big one-and I don't want to mess it up! Any suggestions out there?!?! :)
Only a few weeks left...in fact, we could start counting days! 8 more of modified bed rest--and then who knows when she will make her appearance! Let's just hope we can get her name picked out soon!!
Although, we still can not settle on a name. This just seems like such a BIG decision, you know?! We are choosing what this girl will be know by. What people will call her, what she will say when she introduces herself.
Will it fit her?
Will people be able to spell and pronounce it?
Will it be "cute" while she is young, yet "cool" when she is in Jr. High, and still "professional" when she goes to interview for her first job?
Will it have a special meaning--especially with all that she has already been through?
Will it go well with her married name someday?
Will she like it?
How do you make that final decision? That's where we are at. We have several that we like, and that we feel like would fit her, but we just can't make that final decision. I don't really want to wait to "see" her, because she will look like whatever we decide to name her, right?
Ah, just one of the many decisions you get to make as a parent. But I feel like this is a big one-and I don't want to mess it up! Any suggestions out there?!?! :)
Only a few weeks left...in fact, we could start counting days! 8 more of modified bed rest--and then who knows when she will make her appearance! Let's just hope we can get her name picked out soon!!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Mrs. Buck
My kindergarten teacher passed away this last month. She was a dear lady with a huge heart. I also had the privilege of growing up with her in my church and neighborhood, so I knew her on several different levels.
I was unable to attend her memorial service, but am so thankful to know that she is in a better place, where she is no longer suffering. It is just a temporary goodbye for us here on earth, but we will see her again!
Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the impact she has had on my life. Have you ever really stopped to think about the importance of a kindergarten teacher? It's probably the teacher we remember and thank the least, but is one of the most important.
They are you first real connection to the world outside of your family.
That first day of kindergarten I had no idea what to expect. Would I miss home? Would I make friends? What would I learn? I timidly walked into the classroom, found my desk and said goodbye to my mom. Would I ever see her again?! I looked around at all the faces, and saw so many of them with the same concerns and questions!
To be honest, there are very few things I remember about kindergarten. I remember learning letters and numbers, nap time, recess-you know, all the important things in life, right?
Most of all, though, I remember my teacher. She was patient, kind, gentle, loving, patient (did I mention that?) and cared about EACH one of us. She was a teacher because she cared about us-she loved us as if we were her own kids. She invested in us. She showed us what life was like outside our homes and started us on this amazing journey called school. She determined whether or not we moved onto that next big stage of going to school EVERY day (1st grade).
Did I ever really thank her? You know-REALLY thank her-for the impact she had on my life? Did I ever really let her know how grateful I was to her for all that she did for me in that very impressionistic year of my life?
I don't know if I did. Now I will have to wait till heaven-and by then, it won't really matter. So I hope today, as she is looking down on us that she can know how grateful I am to her and all that she did for me.
Thank a teacher today--I know that sounds so cliche--but honestly--thank one of those teachers that has had an impact on your life, for you never know when you might not have the chance.
Thank you Mrs. Buck for the impact you had on my life, and for all the lessons (school & life) that you taught me!
I was unable to attend her memorial service, but am so thankful to know that she is in a better place, where she is no longer suffering. It is just a temporary goodbye for us here on earth, but we will see her again!
Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the impact she has had on my life. Have you ever really stopped to think about the importance of a kindergarten teacher? It's probably the teacher we remember and thank the least, but is one of the most important.
They are you first real connection to the world outside of your family.
That first day of kindergarten I had no idea what to expect. Would I miss home? Would I make friends? What would I learn? I timidly walked into the classroom, found my desk and said goodbye to my mom. Would I ever see her again?! I looked around at all the faces, and saw so many of them with the same concerns and questions!
To be honest, there are very few things I remember about kindergarten. I remember learning letters and numbers, nap time, recess-you know, all the important things in life, right?
Most of all, though, I remember my teacher. She was patient, kind, gentle, loving, patient (did I mention that?) and cared about EACH one of us. She was a teacher because she cared about us-she loved us as if we were her own kids. She invested in us. She showed us what life was like outside our homes and started us on this amazing journey called school. She determined whether or not we moved onto that next big stage of going to school EVERY day (1st grade).
Did I ever really thank her? You know-REALLY thank her-for the impact she had on my life? Did I ever really let her know how grateful I was to her for all that she did for me in that very impressionistic year of my life?
I don't know if I did. Now I will have to wait till heaven-and by then, it won't really matter. So I hope today, as she is looking down on us that she can know how grateful I am to her and all that she did for me.
Thank a teacher today--I know that sounds so cliche--but honestly--thank one of those teachers that has had an impact on your life, for you never know when you might not have the chance.
Thank you Mrs. Buck for the impact you had on my life, and for all the lessons (school & life) that you taught me!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Preggo pictures!
4 months-20 weeks 
5 months-24 weeks 
6 months-28 weeks
7 months-32 weeksSo I have had some requests for pictures on here, so I will attempt to do better. Here is the pregnancy progression, if you will! We had a good report on Friday again-she is just measuring about a week and a half small. So I get to eat ice cream! Yep, that's what he told me!
I am continuing to swim, and really enjoying the "exercise." So thankful she is 34 weeks old on Friday! Three more weeks, and then I am considered full term, and won't have to have any restrictions! Yay! We set up the bassinet this weekend, and we can't wait for her to use it!
I am continuing to swim, and really enjoying the "exercise." So thankful she is 34 weeks old on Friday! Three more weeks, and then I am considered full term, and won't have to have any restrictions! Yay! We set up the bassinet this weekend, and we can't wait for her to use it!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Night
So I think I have forgotten what it is like to sleep through the night. I suppose this is a good thing since you don't get to do that when you have a newborn anyway! I haven't slept through the night since about week 6. :)
The surgery just heightened that, as I have been told I need to be drinking at least 3 quarts of water a day-post surgery. Plus, baby has been head down, dropped, in position since about week 28. This calls for a few trips to the restroom in the middle of the night.
I have to laugh because it is definitely God's way of preparing moms to be up all night!
Nighttime is strange. I've never really thought too much about it until I've been up in it more often. It is strange how the same rooms, in the same house can take on a completely different effect. You can feel so alone, as it seems like the whole world is sleeping while you are not. I read an interesting section in my devotional book the other day that kind of pertained to this. It has had me thinking, so I thought I would just type it here rather than try and explain it:
"Sleep deprivation is one of the tools Satan uses to gain control over our thoughts. Fatigue increases feelings of frustration and irritability. Often at night we feel alone because the distractions of the day are gone. We are separated from friends and family. It is then that the prince of darkness makes his strongest attacks on our faith. He will use those times when we are most vulnerable to lure us into darkness.
It is in the dark times of life that we discover the depth of our relationships withe the Lord. Do we trust Him even when we can't see any evidence of His presence? Do we know He is there even when the silence muffles His voice?"
Then she goes on to talk about why it is important that we have scripture memorized, to combat this "darkness." Some interesting thoughts...
I think this is very fitting, not only for pregnant/new moms who aren't getting much sleep, but for anyone else that might suffer from sleep deprivation!
How thankful I am that we are not "alone" ever-that we always have the presence of the Lord with us even in the darkest (literally) times of life!
That's all from me at this sleep deprived state at midnight!
The surgery just heightened that, as I have been told I need to be drinking at least 3 quarts of water a day-post surgery. Plus, baby has been head down, dropped, in position since about week 28. This calls for a few trips to the restroom in the middle of the night.
I have to laugh because it is definitely God's way of preparing moms to be up all night!
Nighttime is strange. I've never really thought too much about it until I've been up in it more often. It is strange how the same rooms, in the same house can take on a completely different effect. You can feel so alone, as it seems like the whole world is sleeping while you are not. I read an interesting section in my devotional book the other day that kind of pertained to this. It has had me thinking, so I thought I would just type it here rather than try and explain it:
"Sleep deprivation is one of the tools Satan uses to gain control over our thoughts. Fatigue increases feelings of frustration and irritability. Often at night we feel alone because the distractions of the day are gone. We are separated from friends and family. It is then that the prince of darkness makes his strongest attacks on our faith. He will use those times when we are most vulnerable to lure us into darkness.
It is in the dark times of life that we discover the depth of our relationships withe the Lord. Do we trust Him even when we can't see any evidence of His presence? Do we know He is there even when the silence muffles His voice?"
Then she goes on to talk about why it is important that we have scripture memorized, to combat this "darkness." Some interesting thoughts...
I think this is very fitting, not only for pregnant/new moms who aren't getting much sleep, but for anyone else that might suffer from sleep deprivation!
How thankful I am that we are not "alone" ever-that we always have the presence of the Lord with us even in the darkest (literally) times of life!
That's all from me at this sleep deprived state at midnight!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Swimming!
We had a good doctor's report last Friday, and everything is still looking good. The best news is that he gave me permission to go swimming! I was so excited because after laying around for 11 weeks, I am starting to feel very weak-in ways I never have before. It's a strange feeling.
So, I was so excited that he told me I could go to the pool. I am still on modified bed rest-for me-meaning I can get up a few hours a day-depending on how I'm feeling and how the contractions are coming on.
I've had a few scary days-where I have more than I should, but my body seems to always calm down. We are so thankful for each week that passes-meaning that Cupcake has grown that much more.
I LOVE being pregnant-
I love feeling her move
I love knowing that God has chosen me as a vessel to grow this baby for His purposes
I love feeling her kicks, jabs and stabs-knowing that she is growing stronger with each one
I love the blessing that God has allowed us to become pregnant, and stay pregnant through all that we have been through
I love that I can talk and sing to her-knowing that she hears me
I love it when other people want to talk to her or feel her move
I love that she is almost 32 weeks old, and that we are 11 weeks out from surgery-she is a FIGHTER!
I love that God has a big plan for this little one, and that we are blessed to be a part of that
The only part I don't love is the moments when I am having a lot of contractions, and so it sends me into the state of "mommy worry." :) Then I am reminded that I don't need to worry-I just need to trust and have faith that God IS in control-of EVERY detail, and every moment.
Other than that-I am loving every moment-and cherishing it-as I know there are so many women out there who don't get the chance to feel what this miracle is like. My heart aches for them, and I pray that I will never take the miracle of pregnancy for granted.
So, I was so excited that he told me I could go to the pool. I am still on modified bed rest-for me-meaning I can get up a few hours a day-depending on how I'm feeling and how the contractions are coming on.
I've had a few scary days-where I have more than I should, but my body seems to always calm down. We are so thankful for each week that passes-meaning that Cupcake has grown that much more.
I LOVE being pregnant-
I love feeling her move
I love knowing that God has chosen me as a vessel to grow this baby for His purposes
I love feeling her kicks, jabs and stabs-knowing that she is growing stronger with each one
I love the blessing that God has allowed us to become pregnant, and stay pregnant through all that we have been through
I love that I can talk and sing to her-knowing that she hears me
I love it when other people want to talk to her or feel her move
I love that she is almost 32 weeks old, and that we are 11 weeks out from surgery-she is a FIGHTER!
I love that God has a big plan for this little one, and that we are blessed to be a part of that
The only part I don't love is the moments when I am having a lot of contractions, and so it sends me into the state of "mommy worry." :) Then I am reminded that I don't need to worry-I just need to trust and have faith that God IS in control-of EVERY detail, and every moment.
Other than that-I am loving every moment-and cherishing it-as I know there are so many women out there who don't get the chance to feel what this miracle is like. My heart aches for them, and I pray that I will never take the miracle of pregnancy for granted.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
My Hubby-the Love of my Life!
Three years ago today I was preparing to marry my best friend, better half and the love of my life! We were talking about it last night, and in some ways it seems like it has been so much longer than that (not in a bad way)! We have been through quite a bit in the last three years, and there is no way I would have made it without him!
Ben is my biggest fan, supporter and steadfast man! God blessed me so much when he gave Ben to me. We all know I can tend to be the type A, driven person, and Ben is so good for me in that way, he helps balance me out. He is a quiet leader and a man of God. I am honored to have him as my husband and the father of my children. I only hope I continue to grow to be the kind of wife that supports and loves him daily.
We have grown a lot in the past three years. For most people, their biggest adjustments are over finances, combining households, in-laws, etc, but those things haven't been as big of adjustments as some of the other things that have come our way. I am thankful that God sees the bigger picture and that He only has His BEST in mind for us, and because of this, we can get through whatever comes our way! I know we can accomplish more together than we ever could apart, and that is the beauty of marriage!
As I reflect on the past three years, these are some of the things we have experienced as a married couple: (warning, could be in random order!)
Being students of each other-learning about each other's love languages
Purchasing a home in Boise
Honeymoon trip to Mexico
My stressful (but wonderful) job in Boise
Ben surviving lay-offs at his job in Boise
Re-doing our master bedroom in Boise
Developing deep and meaningful friendships with other couples and singles that will last our lifetime
Re-landscaping our entire yard in Boise (by hand...no farm equipment there!)
Finding a home church in Boise
Deciding to quite my job in Boise
Spending as much time with family as possible
Ben deciding to take a new job at WSU
Packing up our house into a UHAUL one year after we moved in
Un-packing our house into my parent's garage for 3 months
Spending the summers on the Palouse driving harvest truck
Finding renters for our home in Boise
Several trips to Montana to visit family and celebrate our marriage
Me learning to drive a motorcycle
Motorcycle trips
Selling our motorcycle
Celebrating our one year anniversary in San Diego!
Spending our second anniversary together serving on a missions trip to Guatemala
A trip to Mexico for Christmas with the Morgan family
Learning and developing new hobbies together: water-skiing (Ben), playing games, fishing, cooking
Staring another business-Pampered Chef
Finding out we were going to be parents for the first time!
Loosing our first child
Getting our first dog and cat
Loosing our first dog and cat
Remodeling an over 100 year old home together (with the help of others!!)
Landscaping our yard in Pullman (with the help of family and TRACTORS this time!)
Getting involved in our church in Colfax
Developing and deepen new and existing relationships with friends in the Palouse
Various trips to Seattle, Oregon, Boise
Celebrating with several friends while they tie the knot!
Ben starting a new job at WSU
Ben surviving lay offs and a job transition at WSU
Purchasing new vehicles together-and selling vehicles together
Missing our friends in the Boise area very much
Becoming pregnant again-it's a girl!
Surgery during pregnancy
Bed rest and modified bed rest for...well, 9 weeks now...6-7 more to go!
Learning how to communicate and share with one another at a deep level
Dreaming about the future
Through all of these events and more, we have grown because of our commitment to each other and to God. It hasn't always been easy, and some of the "whys" we will never know, but we strive to grow through each circumstance He brings our way. We pray our marriage honors God and each other as we go through this journey called life. I can only imagine what lies in store for us for the next 53 years!
I love you hubby! Thank you for choosing ME!!
Ben is my biggest fan, supporter and steadfast man! God blessed me so much when he gave Ben to me. We all know I can tend to be the type A, driven person, and Ben is so good for me in that way, he helps balance me out. He is a quiet leader and a man of God. I am honored to have him as my husband and the father of my children. I only hope I continue to grow to be the kind of wife that supports and loves him daily.
We have grown a lot in the past three years. For most people, their biggest adjustments are over finances, combining households, in-laws, etc, but those things haven't been as big of adjustments as some of the other things that have come our way. I am thankful that God sees the bigger picture and that He only has His BEST in mind for us, and because of this, we can get through whatever comes our way! I know we can accomplish more together than we ever could apart, and that is the beauty of marriage!
As I reflect on the past three years, these are some of the things we have experienced as a married couple: (warning, could be in random order!)
Being students of each other-learning about each other's love languages
Purchasing a home in Boise
Honeymoon trip to Mexico
My stressful (but wonderful) job in Boise
Ben surviving lay-offs at his job in Boise
Re-doing our master bedroom in Boise
Developing deep and meaningful friendships with other couples and singles that will last our lifetime
Re-landscaping our entire yard in Boise (by hand...no farm equipment there!)
Finding a home church in Boise
Deciding to quite my job in Boise
Spending as much time with family as possible
Ben deciding to take a new job at WSU
Packing up our house into a UHAUL one year after we moved in
Un-packing our house into my parent's garage for 3 months
Spending the summers on the Palouse driving harvest truck
Finding renters for our home in Boise
Several trips to Montana to visit family and celebrate our marriage
Me learning to drive a motorcycle
Motorcycle trips
Selling our motorcycle
Celebrating our one year anniversary in San Diego!
Spending our second anniversary together serving on a missions trip to Guatemala
A trip to Mexico for Christmas with the Morgan family
Learning and developing new hobbies together: water-skiing (Ben), playing games, fishing, cooking
Staring another business-Pampered Chef
Finding out we were going to be parents for the first time!
Loosing our first child
Getting our first dog and cat
Loosing our first dog and cat
Remodeling an over 100 year old home together (with the help of others!!)
Landscaping our yard in Pullman (with the help of family and TRACTORS this time!)
Getting involved in our church in Colfax
Developing and deepen new and existing relationships with friends in the Palouse
Various trips to Seattle, Oregon, Boise
Celebrating with several friends while they tie the knot!
Ben starting a new job at WSU
Ben surviving lay offs and a job transition at WSU
Purchasing new vehicles together-and selling vehicles together
Missing our friends in the Boise area very much
Becoming pregnant again-it's a girl!
Surgery during pregnancy
Bed rest and modified bed rest for...well, 9 weeks now...6-7 more to go!
Learning how to communicate and share with one another at a deep level
Dreaming about the future
Through all of these events and more, we have grown because of our commitment to each other and to God. It hasn't always been easy, and some of the "whys" we will never know, but we strive to grow through each circumstance He brings our way. We pray our marriage honors God and each other as we go through this journey called life. I can only imagine what lies in store for us for the next 53 years!
I love you hubby! Thank you for choosing ME!!
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