Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Lots of thoughts today...

I don't know how to begin this entry...there are so many things going through my mind.

This week there will be some big changes in not only our family, but our extended family! My new little niece or nephew will be entering the world any day now! I can't wait to hold and squeeze and love on that little one! We continue to pray for their safe arrival, and for the entire family as they adjust to 4 little ones around now!! Justin and Bridgett are amazing parents, and it is so neat to see how God has blessed them with three wonderful children already!

I will be completely off bed rest on Friday. This is a very strange thing to think about. For 16 weeks (basically 4 months) I have either been on complete bed rest or modified bed rest. I haven't ran my vacuum, or done any cleaning besides what I can easily get to on the surface. I haven't worked in my yard, put together the nursery, or done any canning. I haven't driven anywhere besides to the pool, and haven't been grocery shopping, or much of any shopping for that matter! I haven't worked out, or ran. But, with my mom, mother-in-law, sister and husband's help, a lot has gotten done.

I have learned to let people help me. This is a hard concept for me. I thrive on helping and serving others-it is a way I speak love to people. To accept help has always been a hard and foreign concept to me. I have tended to feel guilty or that I needed to repay someone if they helped me out. But these past four months, I have learned that it is actually a gift to let people help you, and it's really an act of selfishness when you are too proud to ask for or allow help. When you allow someone else to help you-it not only blesses you, but blesses them because they WANT to serve you.

I have done a few projects: worked on my picture books, done some crocheting and cross stitching, read books and magazines, slowing organized parts of the house. I have been "shopping" at Babies R Us in a wheelchair, and been to several doctor appointments in Spokane. I have read to and prayed over our little girl.

To know I will basically have no restrictions after Friday is exciting and scary all at the same time. Exciting, because I can't wait to finish putting her room together, do some more of her laundry, and get our home ready for baby. Exciting because I can hopefully check a few things off my "list" before she comes. Exciting because that means we could be meeting our baby girl any day!

Scary for some of the same reasons above. I am not scared for labor for me, but for her. Just nervous and hoping that everything will go ok and that I will be able to deliver, even with my weakened body state. Nervous that something will happen during labor--and that I really have no control over any of it. But this is where my trust and faith must step in. This is where the rubber meets the road, so to speak. The Lord has brought us to this point, and He won't give us anything more than He knows we can handle.

It is also an interesting concept to wrap my mind around the fact that I won't have to be nervous when I start getting contractions after Friday. Now, I'm up for a couple hours in the morning, and then I have to be down. If I"m up for too long in the afternoon/evening, I start getting more and more contractions-and after Friday, I won't have to sit down when that happens! It will be like retraining my body/mind.

I've also been thinking a lot about the baby we lost last year. A part of my heart will always ache for that little one that we won't meet until heaven someday. This baby doesn't "replace" him or her--and it's so hard when people ask "is this your first?" Sometimes I respond with "we lost one last year" and sometimes I say "yes" because I just don't want to explain myself. But this is our second child, and that is how I see it. When I see babies that are 10 months old (or around that age) right now, I think of our sweet baby. While I am so thrilled to meet this little girl, it only continues to remind me of how much I miss our first little one.

There are other things on my heart as well, but I suppose this is getting long, and you all don't want to know about ever detail of my life. I think I just needed a sounding board this morning. Thank you to each one of you who are so important to us! It has definitely been kind of a "lonely" time for me, and I appreciate all of you who keep pursing me!

I know our lives are about to dramatically change-and we couldn't be more excited. We just hope and pray that the Lord gives us wisdom in knowing what to do in this next stage of life!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

What's in a Name?

Our time is finally nearing of getting to meet our sweet baby girl! We are beyond thrilled and can not wait!

Although, we still can not settle on a name. This just seems like such a BIG decision, you know?! We are choosing what this girl will be know by. What people will call her, what she will say when she introduces herself.

Will it fit her?
Will people be able to spell and pronounce it?
Will it be "cute" while she is young, yet "cool" when she is in Jr. High, and still "professional" when she goes to interview for her first job?
Will it have a special meaning--especially with all that she has already been through?
Will it go well with her married name someday?
Will she like it?

How do you make that final decision? That's where we are at. We have several that we like, and that we feel like would fit her, but we just can't make that final decision. I don't really want to wait to "see" her, because she will look like whatever we decide to name her, right?

Ah, just one of the many decisions you get to make as a parent. But I feel like this is a big one-and I don't want to mess it up! Any suggestions out there?!?! :)

Only a few weeks left...in fact, we could start counting days! 8 more of modified bed rest--and then who knows when she will make her appearance! Let's just hope we can get her name picked out soon!!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Mrs. Buck

My kindergarten teacher passed away this last month. She was a dear lady with a huge heart. I also had the privilege of growing up with her in my church and neighborhood, so I knew her on several different levels.

I was unable to attend her memorial service, but am so thankful to know that she is in a better place, where she is no longer suffering. It is just a temporary goodbye for us here on earth, but we will see her again!

Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the impact she has had on my life. Have you ever really stopped to think about the importance of a kindergarten teacher? It's probably the teacher we remember and thank the least, but is one of the most important.

They are you first real connection to the world outside of your family.

That first day of kindergarten I had no idea what to expect. Would I miss home? Would I make friends? What would I learn? I timidly walked into the classroom, found my desk and said goodbye to my mom. Would I ever see her again?! I looked around at all the faces, and saw so many of them with the same concerns and questions!

To be honest, there are very few things I remember about kindergarten. I remember learning letters and numbers, nap time, recess-you know, all the important things in life, right?

Most of all, though, I remember my teacher. She was patient, kind, gentle, loving, patient (did I mention that?) and cared about EACH one of us. She was a teacher because she cared about us-she loved us as if we were her own kids. She invested in us. She showed us what life was like outside our homes and started us on this amazing journey called school. She determined whether or not we moved onto that next big stage of going to school EVERY day (1st grade).

Did I ever really thank her? You know-REALLY thank her-for the impact she had on my life? Did I ever really let her know how grateful I was to her for all that she did for me in that very impressionistic year of my life?

I don't know if I did. Now I will have to wait till heaven-and by then, it won't really matter. So I hope today, as she is looking down on us that she can know how grateful I am to her and all that she did for me.

Thank a teacher today--I know that sounds so cliche--but honestly--thank one of those teachers that has had an impact on your life, for you never know when you might not have the chance.

Thank you Mrs. Buck for the impact you had on my life, and for all the lessons (school & life) that you taught me!