Relationships

Relationships take work.  That's not new news, right?! 

I thought in honor of Valentine's Day this week, and a few things that have been on my heart, I would post about relationships.

We were blessed to be able to enjoy dinner out on Sunday without sweet Kayla (thanks Mom!), and we began mattress shopping.  I think I have decided I would rather shop for carpet.  :)

So, on Valentine's Day, we headed back to Spokane to try and finish the mattress shopping.  Sucess (or so we think, until we actually get the new bed!  We will keep our fingers crossed!)  We ended our day at The Old Spaghetti Factory (one of my favorites!), and Kayla was a champ all afternoon.

Anyway, on the way home, I was listening to a radio broadcast on Positive Life Radio, and they were talking about relationships. 

I am so blessed to have wonderful friends, family, and an incredible husband.  When things are good in those relationships, it doesn't seem to take a lot of work, right?  But when we start hitting some rough patches, or things don't quite go as we expect, all the sudden drama enters the picture, right?  Or am I the only one that this happens to?

All the sudden, we see the blaring faults and wonder how we got here AGAIN.  How did we get hurt by this same thing again?  How did we make the same mistake again?

Well, it should be pretty simple if we really think about it. 

We are two imperfect people trying to have a "perfect" relationship.  (This relationship can be with our spouse, friend, or family member)

Does our relationship with the Lord come easy?  I don't know about you, but mine doesn't.  It takes work, right?  Work to carve out that time to spend with Him.  Work to know what He is saying.  Work to know what He wants us to do.  It doesn't come easy. 

And that relationship has one perfect person in the equation.

So why should we expect our earthly relationships to come easy?  These relationships have TWO imperfect, sinful people in the equation.  Ever stop to think about that?

Interesting thought.  Thank the good Lord for grace, so that we can start each day with a fresh perspective, looking at these relationships with that in mind.  Of course it takes work. 

Work on myself.  Instead of expecting that person to be what I think I need in the relationship, am I BECOMING the kind of person they want to be around?

How do I do this? 

Colossions gives us a pretty good idea about what this should look like:

1.  Be compassionate
2.  Be kind (giving people what they need, not what they deserve),
3.  Be humble
4.  Be gentle
5.  Be patient (put up with those you would rather put down)
6.  Over everything else-clothe yourself with LOVE

How do we do this?

How do these become attributes we "put on" daily? 

The end of that passage sums it up-"let the word of Christ dwell in you richly"

I must spend time in the Word, with Him, for these to be characteristics of my daily life.

What a challenge!

The rest of the January Declutter list

How is your decluttering going?  :)

I know I gave you a pretty long list last time, and don't worry if you didn't get through it, because I didn't either.  I got side tracked on a few projects.  And that's ok! 

So here's the rest of my list for January:

• Catch up on paperwork and year end filing (We were a couple years behind, so just tackle it, wherever you are at!)
• Declutter file cabinets.  (Go through old files, and throw out papers and manuals you don't need)
• Sort through all those "paper piles"  You know, the ones that sit there or get put in a drawer to "do later."  :)

It's a great time to go through paperwork to get ready for tax season, etc.   Plus, you will feel so much better about tackling your other projects if this one is done!

It's a blizzard here today, so what a great afternoon for a cup of coffee and some quality time with my files! 

Good luck!

Declutter!

So I found a great 2012 Declutter and Organize Calendar from mysimplerlife.com/blog

In thinking about keeping things "simpler" this year, I really liked this calendar.  It gives you a task a day that can be done in a short amount of time.  By the end of the year, you have gotten through a log of projects you easily put off!

So I am going to re-blog some of her ideas, as well as incorporate some of my own.  I'm hoping to come up with my own version of a Simpler, Decluttered 2012 Calendar!

As I stated in my last post, don't let the "list" bog you down.  If you have some things that apply, and you would feel better if you prioritized them, then do it!  If not, let it go, and have a great day doing the things you alredy have planned! 

She has hers listed one a day, but I am going to chunk them into a week or two weeks worth of time.  I know that I won't always do the "one a day" approach, but might do a couple items on the list in one day, and then none for a couple. 

Anyway, take it as you wish, and happy Decluttering and Organizing your life!  :)

January 1-14

• Set up a place to donate items you are getting rid of (either for goodwill or garage sale)
• Pick a cabinet in your washroom/entry way and clean out just the top shelf or one drawer
• Declutter the top of your kitchen cabinets and dust
• Go through old spices to discard expired and old ones (and get some fresh ones from your PC consultant! ;) )
• Organize your "can" shelf.  Make it workable-do what works for you!
• Go through your freezer to let go of old, freezer burned food
• Declutter and clean out your nightstand (and the top of it!)
• Clean out under the bed
• Throw out the junk in your junk drawer
• Organize your junk drawer
• Go through and declutter your island (if you have one)

Have a great, productive (or not!) few days!  Please don't feel like a failure if you don't make it through the "list." 

Oh, and make sure you prioritize time with God, your sweet little ones, and yourself!  (I'm speaking to myself on this one too!)

The Beginning of 2012

Happy New Year!  I really can't believe that we will start writing 2012.  I remember when they all predicted the world was going to end when we rolled from 1999 to 2000.  Where do the years go?

We just got back from a week vacation with the Morgan Family on Whidbey Island.  We stayed in a beautiful home that had an incredible view of the water and mountains.  What a fun way to bring in the new year! 

I'm not one for "resolutions."  I think I've tried before, only to feel like I failed when I look back and see what I didn't accomplish.  As with most of those that make resolutions, I think.

I always look forward to the New Year, though, as it seems to bring a fresh start to life. 

So often, I think of all that I need to accomplish in a year/month/week/day, and make my lists accordingly.  I get excited as I "check things off" the list.  One by one, the tasks diminish, until my page is all scratched off.

Then I start a new one.

Sometimes my projects and tasks never do get crossed off.  Sometimes, I just rip the page out, and add those projects that didn't get marked off to my "new" list.

Am I the only one that does this?!

Like I said, it can get easy to get lost in the list, tasks and projects for the day.

Instead, can I pause and remember the One who gave me the ability to...

wash the dishes
clean the bathroom
change a diaper
make a lunch
pick up toys
manage our finances
take care of our home
tend to the yard
pick up toys
make meals
call friends and family
teach lessons
encourage my husband
did I mention pick up toys? :)

...and realize that He doesn't ask me to make a list so I can check it off. 

He asks me to bring Glory to Him as I go throughout each task, praising Him for the ability to do what I can with the time, talents and treasures He has given me.

I pray I will do a better job of keeping this mindset this coming year.  It is hard, as the pace of life continues to pick up speed, trying to rob us of the joys that each moment brings. 

I'm sure I will continue to make my "lists."  But maybe I can have a different perspective.

Be still.  Stop and listen.  You just might hear a voice saying, "well done, my good and faithful servant," rather then the nagging voice of "how come you couldn't get that done?!"

Here is to a simpler 2012!

Blessing and Sacrifice

As I drink my first pumpkin spice latte of the season, I reflect on being a mom.

It is by far been one of the biggest blessings in my life.  Kayla is a true gift from God that we don't deserve, but have been blessed with.  I can't imagine my life without her.  Ben and I's love for each other has only grown as we realize we have even more love to give to our sweet daughter. 

Is is also the biggest sacrifice I have ever had to make.

Being a parent has humbled me.  There is someone else in my life now that needs my time and attention.  She is completely dependent on me to meet her needs, 24 hours a day.  (Thankfully she loves to sleep about 10-11 of those hours at night!)

It doesn't matter if I want to do this or that, if she needs something, I serve her.  It doesn't matter if I want to sleep in, or if I want to go work out, her needs must be met first.  It doesn't mean that I still don't make time for "me" things (because I think that is SUPER important for the mental health of being a mommy!!), but the focus changes. 

I have always wanted to be a wife and mother.  Just ask my mom.  I "played house/mommy" ever since I was old enough to walk.  The Lord laid that desire on my heart years ago. 

So I was ready for that big change, the change of being a parent, and yet, there are days that take me by surprise.

There are days...

...when I would love to just run to the gym and work out without having to arrange for a babysitter.
...when I would love to go meet a friend for coffee without the distraction of a baby
...when I would love to be able to help others with acts of service when they need it
...when I would love to take a last minute trip and leave my responsibilities behind

I think it is human to have these emotions.  To sometimes feel "tied" to home.  While it is a blessing, it is a sacrifice. 

Most days, I serve with joy and am so thankful for the blessing he has given me.  After all I went through during my pregnancy, I am even more in tue with this!

But I am only human, and also have days when I miss my freedom.

But I wouldn't change it for the world.

God has called us to the great commission.  To take the gospel to the world.  I want to stand before him someday and know that I did all that he called me to do. 

The great commission starts in our home.  Our marriage, and then our children.  The children that he entrusts to me are given to me for a purpose.  By His grace, I am to guide and direct them in His ways, and pray and trust that they will grow up knowing and loving Him, serving Him all the days of their lives.

That is a heavy calling.  A blessing.  A sacrifice.  But ultimately, I want my life to be a reflection of Him.  I want my life to point others to Him.  Not to me, but to HIS name be the glory.

We all have the same amount of time in our days.  We all get 24 hours.  What we do with our time, is determined by what we prioritize.  We can all make excuses that we didn't have time to do "this or that," but ultimatley, it's all about what we prioritize.  We WILL live out our priorties!

Sometimes mine are out of whack.  I so often priortize the things that I (in caps!) want to do.  Instead, do I pray for the wisdom to prioritize the things HE wants me to do. 

Does HE come first.  THEN my husband, THEN my children, THEN my family, THEN my friends?

So often not.  That takes sacrifice.  Sometimes a sacrifice that I'm not willing to make.

So during this time of sacrifice, I pray that my selfishness with not blind others to His truth.

By his Grace, I go.  Some days I fail.  Some days He has to remind me of the same lessons over and over.  But by his grace and forgiveness, I go forward, thankful for a fresh start each day.

He gives and takes away

I have a dear friend who's nephew will not survive outside the womb.

I know a lady who recently lost her twin babies half way through her pregnancy.

I have a friend who has suffered 3 miscarriages.

I know a handful of other women who have lost a baby through miscarriage and have carried the burden alone.

I have been wrestling with this for a few weeks now.  It brings back so many memories of the loss of our first child.  The unanswered questions.  The fear, the unknown, the hard question of "why."

"We humans are afraid of pain.  No one likes to hurt.  We avoid it, mask it, and run from it, refusing the get close to pain even when it is not our own.  Fear can make us superstitious and irrational. 

But God doesn't act haphazardly.

Good and beauty can be found in the experience of loss if we are willing to embrace it.  But finding the good and beautiful is only possible when we believe that God is lovingly sovereign, that pain is not random, not without origin, not without purpose." 

From A Symphony in the Dark by Barbara Rainey and Rebecca Rainey Mutz

Everyone's situation is different, and yet a common bond with those who have lost their child. 

My heart aches for these woman.  I pray God will grant a peace that surpasses all understanding. 

Today I trust the One who gives, and the one who takes away.  I must, because I know that even when everything is spinning out of control, HE is in control.  He is holding us in the palm of his hand and won't let go.

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