Silence

Sometimes the silence is a welcome reprieve.  For those of you with kids at home, or busy jobs, you understand this.  To just be alone for an hour or two, with the sound of silence can be water to a weary soul.  I never understood this until I had my ovarian torsion and was forced to bed rest for three months.  I am the type of person that "goes" most of the time.  It was hard for me to stop.  But I was forced to, and forced to recognize my sin of being unable to just BE in God's presence.

But this silence takes on a whole new meaning now that I have my kids here "on the ground."  I don't think I've ever really understood the verse, "Be still and know that I am God."  Psalms 46:10

It is no secret that I'm an extrovert and thrive on being around people.  But now that my life is full of my "little people" I crave that sweet stillness with God.  I am not fully refreshed unless I have some of that quiet stillness before the Lord, when I know I won't be interrupted.  Some may think, well you're a stay at home mom, so you have nap time, and then once they are in bed, you have that.  I used to be someone who thought that.  Although I am thankful for those times, if I am home, and in the same place as my beautiful daughters, I always feel "on call" for lack of a better term.  They could need me in a moments notice.  So this silence is best found when I can physically be away from them for just an hour or two.

I used to feel selfish about that.  And think I wasn't a good mom because I "needed" that.  But I've learned I'm actually a better mom when I have had some time alone. Time to let God refresh my weary soul so that I can pour into my family again.  I am so thankful I have a husband, and other family and friends that allow me times to do this.

I want other moms out there to know it is ok to ask for help.  It is ok to admit that your soul is weary and you need some time to "be still."  Maybe that means finding someone who can take your kids for an hour so you can have time at home.  Maybe that means leaving them while you go sit at a coffee shop, or go for a walk.  We all get refreshed in different ways.  Pray and ask God to show you how He can best refresh you.

Our society of "I can do it all and then some" doesn't help us at all.  We are supposed to be strong, confident and able to manage the house, the hubby, the kids, the job and still have a "pinterest perfect life."  There is no way that is what God has called us to.  He has called us to be obedient to HIM, not to the world.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 1 Corinthians 12:8-9

He can still use us in our weakened state.  In our state of "winter," in our state of being overwhelmed with the noise.  For it's in that time that we allow Him to take control and work through us.  It's in that time that we fall to our knees and our faith is deepened.  It causes us to wait and waiting forces our hearts and our minds to grow in ways we never imagined.

Sometimes the noise is more than we can handle.  Sometimes we can get away and have the silence, and other times we are told to wait and lean on Him.

I am thankful for times of silence that are welcome rest for the weary soul.

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him and He will do it.  He will bring forth your righteousness as the light and your judgment as the noonday.  REST in the Lord and WAIT PATIENTLY for him..."

Psalms 37:4-7