Yesterday's sermon is still rolling around in my brain.
Comparison. How often do we find ourselves comparing? I don't know about you, but I do it often. I think it is a natural human response to life. Is it because we are a selfish race and naturally want to look out for "me?" In other words, I think it's that sin nature we fight daily. Hourly.
How often to I look at those around me thinking:
"Why do they get to do that?"
"Why did God bless them with that?"
"Why don't I get to serve in that way?"
"Why is this season in my life so different than theirs?"
"Why aren't they "serving"?
This is dangerous territory. Not only is this being judgmental, but all of the sudden, my mind gets away with me and before I know it, I'm all stressed out.
God has something different in mind. He has called each one of us in individual ways based on the gifts HE has given us. We are to use these gifts to bring Him glory. Not to decide where other people should or shouldn't be serving. That is between them and God. Not us and them.
As soon as I start comparing my life to someone else, my focus is immediately lost. Like Peter walking on the water towards Jesus. As soon as he took his eyes off of Christ, He started to sink.
God has called me to certain areas of service right now, for "such a time as these." For me, it is tending the home fires. Changing the dirty diapers, cleaning up the poop explosions and running load after load of laundry to wash the spit up out. If I choose, I can find the holy moments in the mundane. It is a choice though.
A choice to be joyful (not necessarily happy), in the task He puts before me. A choice to not look around to other moms who may appear to have it all together, or have their children learning their ABC's or numbers before Kayla has. A choice to look in front of me at what God has placed in my care:
A wonderful, loving, hard-working, serving husband and two beautiful, spirited daughters.
Lord give me wisdom, grace and patience for this time, and help me to keep my eyes focused on YOU.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Audrey Rachel Kovanda
I have so many things I want to blog about, but I decided I needed to start with the birth of our second daughter:
Audrey Rachel
Born January 25, 2013 at 6:53am
6lbs, 10oz, 19 inches long
It all started with the flu the night before. Ben had been sick, and shared it with me. Wednesday night I wasn't feeling good at all. Mom had kept Kayla overnight to help us out.
I woke up Thursday with a lot more contractions. I started recording them. They were about 5-10 minutes apart, but much more intense. We headed up to Spokane around 3:30. Contractions slowed down as we were driving to Spokane (of course!), and sure enough, by the time they put me through triage, they said I wasn't in active labor, and wasn't dilated any more than maybe a 1 1/2.
They decided to admit us anyway because we actually had an induction scheduled for that night at 10pm. Baby wasn't moving much, so they decided to admit me and get some fluids pumping through me. We got checked into room 2036 around 8pm. They pumped a bag and a half of fluids through me and baby started moving a lot more. They said I was probably dehydrated from the flue.
At 10pm, they gave me the first does of antibiotics for my strepB. Around 11pm, the contractions started getting much more intense, but they were still 10 minutes apart.
The nurses changed around 1am, and my new nurse came in and said, "you look like you are in a lot of pain. I see here on your chart that you want an epidural. What are you waiting for?!" I looked at her and said, "yes, I am, and I don't know, let's get it!"
So by 1:15am, I got my epidural. Unfortunately, it went more to the right side, but it did provide some relief. I was still only a 2 at this point.
Around 4am I was having a lot more intense pain on my left side, and the anesthesiologists came back up and thought I might have had a bit of an epidural block, so he numbed me up pretty good. My entire right side was pretty much numb, but it really helped with the pain.
By 5am, I was dilated to a 4 1/2, so they didn't even start the pit! I was so relieved. By 6am I was dilated to a 7, but my contractions were only about 5 minutes apart. The nurse came in to check me, and said we would probably be having her in the next hour.
The nurses called Dr. Zwiesler, and he wanted them to hold me off until 8 because he had a meeting at 7, but they told him I was dilated to a 9 by 6:15am, and that there was no way I would make it till 8.
6:30am, he showed up, and even though I wasn't quite at a 10, he said "are you ready to have this baby?" I said, "I guess I better be since you need to be somewhere at 7!"
I gave 3 sets of pushes (he even had me do one without a contraction), and then I saw your head!! He coached me through a few more small ones (didn't have to push as hard), as he helped stretch me over your head. Dr. Zwiesler as SO AMAZING. SO CALM. It was a completely different experience with him than I had with the doctor that delivered Kayla.
6:53am-baby arrived! She let out a cry immediately. What a beautiful sound. One of the nurses later told me that all the nurses in the nurse station heard the cry and decided that baby was excited to be out! Ben cut the chord and they immediately put her on my chest. It was amazing. I just remember feeling so happy and blessed that you were out and ok! She was covered in the white stuff and her nose was really smashed since she had been head down for so long. She wanted to eat right away.
Dr. Zwiesler had to rush off for a meeting, but was so thankful that he was able to be there. It all happened so fast. I felt so good-I wasn't exhausted like I was after Kayla and I didn't tear like I did with her.
The nurses asked what her name was, and I immediately responded "Audrey Rachel." :)
They cleaned her up and it was so cute-they were having Ben pose with her, and taking all kind of pictures of us.
Dr. Fern stopped in around 8. He has asked to be invited to the birth, and we had let him know we were coming in the night before. He was shocked to see that we had already had her. We had a nice visit, and I was a little bummed he wasn't here, but it was so nice of him to come in and see us!
They wheeled us down the hall and Ben rang the bells to let everyone know we had our baby and we went to room 2011. It was the same recovery room we went in with Kayla! We were in our room by 8:30am.
Mom, Dave and Shelby showed up around 9:30. Dad stayed home with Kayla because she was sick.
Audrey was very alert and awake the first few hours, and then was very sleepy. Bridgett came with Kayla and the kids around 4pm, and Kerry and Nadeen also drove across Montana to be there with us as well.
Kayla was so good with her. Dad said the first thing she said when she got up that morning was "big sister out?" She wanted to come sit on the bed with Audrey and wanted to hold her.
Todd and Jamie came to visit too!
We went home the next day, after Dad and Mom came up to visit and Kerry and Nadeen came as well. We were out of the hospital by 1:00pm. A lot different than with Kayla!
The sun was just coming out by the time we got home and it was around 40 degrees!
Sorry this got so long-I just wanted to get it recorded so Audrey can read it some day!
Audrey Rachel
Born January 25, 2013 at 6:53am
6lbs, 10oz, 19 inches long
It all started with the flu the night before. Ben had been sick, and shared it with me. Wednesday night I wasn't feeling good at all. Mom had kept Kayla overnight to help us out.
I woke up Thursday with a lot more contractions. I started recording them. They were about 5-10 minutes apart, but much more intense. We headed up to Spokane around 3:30. Contractions slowed down as we were driving to Spokane (of course!), and sure enough, by the time they put me through triage, they said I wasn't in active labor, and wasn't dilated any more than maybe a 1 1/2.
They decided to admit us anyway because we actually had an induction scheduled for that night at 10pm. Baby wasn't moving much, so they decided to admit me and get some fluids pumping through me. We got checked into room 2036 around 8pm. They pumped a bag and a half of fluids through me and baby started moving a lot more. They said I was probably dehydrated from the flue.
At 10pm, they gave me the first does of antibiotics for my strepB. Around 11pm, the contractions started getting much more intense, but they were still 10 minutes apart.
The nurses changed around 1am, and my new nurse came in and said, "you look like you are in a lot of pain. I see here on your chart that you want an epidural. What are you waiting for?!" I looked at her and said, "yes, I am, and I don't know, let's get it!"
So by 1:15am, I got my epidural. Unfortunately, it went more to the right side, but it did provide some relief. I was still only a 2 at this point.
Around 4am I was having a lot more intense pain on my left side, and the anesthesiologists came back up and thought I might have had a bit of an epidural block, so he numbed me up pretty good. My entire right side was pretty much numb, but it really helped with the pain.
By 5am, I was dilated to a 4 1/2, so they didn't even start the pit! I was so relieved. By 6am I was dilated to a 7, but my contractions were only about 5 minutes apart. The nurse came in to check me, and said we would probably be having her in the next hour.
The nurses called Dr. Zwiesler, and he wanted them to hold me off until 8 because he had a meeting at 7, but they told him I was dilated to a 9 by 6:15am, and that there was no way I would make it till 8.
6:30am, he showed up, and even though I wasn't quite at a 10, he said "are you ready to have this baby?" I said, "I guess I better be since you need to be somewhere at 7!"
I gave 3 sets of pushes (he even had me do one without a contraction), and then I saw your head!! He coached me through a few more small ones (didn't have to push as hard), as he helped stretch me over your head. Dr. Zwiesler as SO AMAZING. SO CALM. It was a completely different experience with him than I had with the doctor that delivered Kayla.
6:53am-baby arrived! She let out a cry immediately. What a beautiful sound. One of the nurses later told me that all the nurses in the nurse station heard the cry and decided that baby was excited to be out! Ben cut the chord and they immediately put her on my chest. It was amazing. I just remember feeling so happy and blessed that you were out and ok! She was covered in the white stuff and her nose was really smashed since she had been head down for so long. She wanted to eat right away.
Dr. Zwiesler had to rush off for a meeting, but was so thankful that he was able to be there. It all happened so fast. I felt so good-I wasn't exhausted like I was after Kayla and I didn't tear like I did with her.
The nurses asked what her name was, and I immediately responded "Audrey Rachel." :)
They cleaned her up and it was so cute-they were having Ben pose with her, and taking all kind of pictures of us.
Dr. Fern stopped in around 8. He has asked to be invited to the birth, and we had let him know we were coming in the night before. He was shocked to see that we had already had her. We had a nice visit, and I was a little bummed he wasn't here, but it was so nice of him to come in and see us!
They wheeled us down the hall and Ben rang the bells to let everyone know we had our baby and we went to room 2011. It was the same recovery room we went in with Kayla! We were in our room by 8:30am.
Mom, Dave and Shelby showed up around 9:30. Dad stayed home with Kayla because she was sick.
Audrey was very alert and awake the first few hours, and then was very sleepy. Bridgett came with Kayla and the kids around 4pm, and Kerry and Nadeen also drove across Montana to be there with us as well.
Kayla was so good with her. Dad said the first thing she said when she got up that morning was "big sister out?" She wanted to come sit on the bed with Audrey and wanted to hold her.
Todd and Jamie came to visit too!
We went home the next day, after Dad and Mom came up to visit and Kerry and Nadeen came as well. We were out of the hospital by 1:00pm. A lot different than with Kayla!
The sun was just coming out by the time we got home and it was around 40 degrees!
Sorry this got so long-I just wanted to get it recorded so Audrey can read it some day!
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