I don't know about you, but this is a place I like to be in.
Comfortably in control. Making decisions after I have prayed about them, masking lists, checking things off the list, moving forward in life in a relatively "controlled" manner.
When I went through all I did with Kayla and her pregnancy, I was taught a very tangible lesson that I was NOT in control, and that she was never "mine" to control. It took a life-threating event to shake my world of "control" and make me realize I either had to trust The One who was in control, or I was going to drive myself crazy into trying to control what was not mine in the first place.
How often I so easily fall into this cycle. I thought I "learned" my lesson with that situation, but here I am again, realizing I am having to be reminded of it again.
You see, this is right where God wants me. If I was always able to sail through life, "controlling" everything, I would have no need for Him. No need to rely on Him. No need to ask for His help, for His wisdom.
I find myself at His feet again, begging Him for his wisdom, for him to pry open my controlling hands around "my" life and let him take what is already His.
Why do I make it so hard? Why do I stress about these "temporal" things?
I am continually reminded of my Grandpa Miller's life. He would have been 91 this last month. He lived with eternity in view. As long as I knew him. He didn't stress about the things he couldn't control. He gently laid them in his Father's hands, and lived life with passion and purpose.
I pray this would be my mindset. That I would live with eternity in view. That I would let go of the control I so often want to have in my life. That I would let go of all the "details" of life that I let bog me down.
That I would pray. Pray fervently, without ceasing. For wisdom, for my husband, for my children, for those I love.
That I would love. Love intentionally.
That I would show love and patience with my girls and my husband, and those I come into contact with.
That I would LET GO of the things I cannot change and hold fast to things I know to be true.
There are circumstance in my life now that are drawing me to my knees, because I have no other place to go.
I am frustrated with my parenting..I feel at a loss, I feel like I am doing nothing right.
I am frustrated with my sharp tongue...I am frustrated I say things I don't want to say, and that I don't say things I do want to say. I am frustrated that I don't encourage some of the people I love the most with my words.
I am frustrated that I don't know how to love well. How to let go. How to create boundaries, how to communicate boundaries.
I am frustrated that it takes me so long to get to a place of contentment in one area of my life, and then I finally get there, only to have that contentment swept out from underneath me.
Ah, it can be so easy to stay in that state of frustration, and yet, I serve a God bigger than all that. I am thankful that He IS IN CONTROL. All I have to do, is open my hand up around all these frustrations that I so tightly cling to, and let Him have them. Allow the Holy Spirit to take control, to lead, to guide, and direct my steps.
Isaiah 55:8-11
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than you ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. "for as the rain and snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."
Thankful that I serve this God that will accomplish all that he purposes to in me!
Wednesday, April 8, 2015
Friday, January 9, 2015
My Grandpa
"Come soon, Lord Jesus" were the ending words of EVERY prayer my Grandpa Miller (my Mom's Dad) ever prayed. As long as I can remember, he was living with eternity in view, looking forward to meeting his Savior. His wait is over, as he is dancing on streets of gold now. Praising and glorifying the One who gave him so much life!
A life to live. Live he did. To it's fullest! I have never met a more sacrificial, encouraging and loving man than my Grandpa. He was the first to tell you what a wonderful job you did with a hearty "Congratulations!"
He gave the longest, most generous hugs saying more than words could ever express. "I love you, Jesus loves you, I'm so proud of you, I'm praying for you."
Him and Grandma are true examples to all of us of what living for the Lord really looks like. They did more than talk the talk. They walked it. Even when the going was tough. When they had little, when they had plenty. No matter the circumstances, they were content because they trusted the One who was in control.
I have never experienced someone leaving this earth in the way I did Wednesday night. As I watched him peacefully enter into Glory, so many emotions were racing through my mind.
Most of all thankfulness:
Thankful that he was not experiencing any pain
Thankful that he was surrounded by those he loved, and that loved him
Thankful for my grandma's example of a loving, serving wife. She was living out her "I will...until death do us part." Right before his last breath, she said "I am ok with letting him go, I just don't want him to experience any pain." A selfless, loving, servant's heart by his side until his time on earth was done.
Thankful for the legacy and heritage he leaves, as family members and friends flooded his bedside for those short passing hours.
Thankful for his children who surrounded him, letting him know "It's ok to go, Dad. We will take care of mom. You can go." It was as if that was all he needed to hear, because it felt at that very moment that his spirit left. He had breathed his last breath here on earth and was ready to meet his Savior. What a glorious homecoming I bet that was. I'm sure he was greeted with: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Thankful for God's mercy in letting him peacefully enter Heaven. So many people experience such a long road with loved ones as they are passing on. It was not the case with him. God was so gracious to allow it to be so quick and peacful.
Thankful that we know it will not be the last time we see him. That we will have a glorious reunion with him someday!
I am so honored and blessed to be a part of this man's heritage. I am proud and humbled to have known and loved this wonderful servant of God. I have so many memories I will cherish forever.
Some of my favorites:
A life of love and blessings.
Four Children, Twelve Grandchildren
A life of love and grace.
A strong and gentle man,
A life of passion and endurance.
A student of all things,
A life of inquiry and wisdom.
A man of God, pursuing Him.
A life of dedication and integrity.
A life full, a life worth celebrating!
For the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The kingdom of this world
Is become the kingdom of our Lord,
And of His Christ, and of His Christ;
And He shall reign for ever and ever,
For ever and ever, forever and ever
King of kings, and Lord of lords,
King of kings, and Lord of lords
And He shall reign,
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings, forever and ever,
And Lord of lords,
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings! and Lord of lords!
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings! and Lord of lords!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"
Tears because selfishly we will miss this tender-hearted man with a smile like no other. Tears because we will miss not having his prayers. Tears because he leaves a "Husband/Dad/Grandpa/Great-Grandpa/Friend" sized hole in our hearts.
Yet tears of joy because he pain-free, worshipping his "King of kings"
Hallelujah!
I love you so much Grandpa. Thank you for all you have done for us. Thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for your love and commitment to our Lord!
A life to live. Live he did. To it's fullest! I have never met a more sacrificial, encouraging and loving man than my Grandpa. He was the first to tell you what a wonderful job you did with a hearty "Congratulations!"
He gave the longest, most generous hugs saying more than words could ever express. "I love you, Jesus loves you, I'm so proud of you, I'm praying for you."
Him and Grandma are true examples to all of us of what living for the Lord really looks like. They did more than talk the talk. They walked it. Even when the going was tough. When they had little, when they had plenty. No matter the circumstances, they were content because they trusted the One who was in control.
I have never experienced someone leaving this earth in the way I did Wednesday night. As I watched him peacefully enter into Glory, so many emotions were racing through my mind.
Most of all thankfulness:
Thankful that he was not experiencing any pain
Thankful that he was surrounded by those he loved, and that loved him
Thankful for my grandma's example of a loving, serving wife. She was living out her "I will...until death do us part." Right before his last breath, she said "I am ok with letting him go, I just don't want him to experience any pain." A selfless, loving, servant's heart by his side until his time on earth was done.
Thankful for the legacy and heritage he leaves, as family members and friends flooded his bedside for those short passing hours.
Thankful for his children who surrounded him, letting him know "It's ok to go, Dad. We will take care of mom. You can go." It was as if that was all he needed to hear, because it felt at that very moment that his spirit left. He had breathed his last breath here on earth and was ready to meet his Savior. What a glorious homecoming I bet that was. I'm sure he was greeted with: "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Thankful for God's mercy in letting him peacefully enter Heaven. So many people experience such a long road with loved ones as they are passing on. It was not the case with him. God was so gracious to allow it to be so quick and peacful.
Thankful that we know it will not be the last time we see him. That we will have a glorious reunion with him someday!
I am so honored and blessed to be a part of this man's heritage. I am proud and humbled to have known and loved this wonderful servant of God. I have so many memories I will cherish forever.
Some of my favorites:
- Taking me on my first snow skiing adventure. He was the most patient teacher
- Playing happy birthday on the harmonica at all of our birthday parties
- His constant words of encouragement
- His love and appreciation for any music I played or sang
- Sleepovers at their house
- Sharing a glass of chocolate milk with him
- Working in their garden and yard with him
- Coming to Spokane to visit us in the hospital to meet his great-granddaughter Kayla
- His hugs. There was nothing like them.
- His zest for learning
- Spending time at their home, cleaning for them. These were the ordinary, precious moments I was able to share with them. I started when Kayla was very young and went monthly. It was so neat to not only have that time with them, but to have Kayla and Audrey interact with them as well.
- Watching him hold Kayla and Audrey's hands as we prayed for the meals we shared together on those "cleaning" days.
- His eternal optimism
- Visiting him in their "new" apartment in town. I cherish so many memories of just stopping in to visit in the last few months. He lit up when Kayla walked in the room.
- His love and thankfulness for life. It was never old or mundane. He had a truly thankful heart.
A Tribute to 90 Years
90 Years of life,
with a beautiful woman by his side.A life of love and blessings.
A life of love and grace.
A life of passion and endurance.
A life of inquiry and wisdom.
A life of dedication and integrity.
Thank you for the gift of life and love
You share with all of us.A life full, a life worth celebrating!
We will celebrate his life and lay his body to rest this Monday. Grandma has asked that Mom and I play our "Hallelujah Chorus" 4 hands piano piece. My grandpa had such an appreciation for music. Sometimes I think he came to church just so he could worship the Lord through my mom's piano playing. Each Sunday he told her how beautiful her music was. He especially loved this piece. I played through it last night and could barely get through it as my eyes welled up with tears.
Tears not because I am sad for him at all. He is in Heaven. Rejoicing with Jesus. Tears because for the first time I could picture someone I knew and loved standing before their Lord, singing:
"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The kingdom of this world
Is become the kingdom of our Lord,
And of His Christ, and of His Christ;
And He shall reign for ever and ever,
For ever and ever, forever and ever
King of kings, and Lord of lords,
King of kings, and Lord of lords
And He shall reign,
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings, forever and ever,
And Lord of lords,
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings! and Lord of lords!
And He shall reign forever and ever,
King of kings! and Lord of lords!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"
Tears because selfishly we will miss this tender-hearted man with a smile like no other. Tears because we will miss not having his prayers. Tears because he leaves a "Husband/Dad/Grandpa/Great-Grandpa/Friend" sized hole in our hearts.
Yet tears of joy because he pain-free, worshipping his "King of kings"
Hallelujah!
I love you so much Grandpa. Thank you for all you have done for us. Thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for your love and commitment to our Lord!
Most of the family at Grandpa's 90th last March (2014)
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Simplicity
I've been making time to read a little bit lately. When I do it, I'm not sure, but I find little snippets of time to do something I really love to do. I suppose it's my "TV" time, as I hardly watch any TV.
I've been reading "God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos" by Keri Kent. One of the best books I've read so far. A must read for all you young moms out there. She writes from in the trenches. She has two young kids, and writes about real life, happening now. Not as an older woman "looking back" at her "raising up kids" years. There is wisdom to be gleaned from those women too, but I just appreciate a different perspective!
I so appreciate her brutal honesty. It reminds me that I'm not alone in this often so lonely time of life. It's crazy how I can be surrounded by so much noise, and yet feel like I am drowning in my own piles of laundry, dishes, to do lists, and whining children.
I LOVE MY JOB! Don't get me wrong. My children bring me such joy. They have taught me more about unconditional love than anything else. I think I have a better understanding of how much Christ truly loves us now that I have kids. There is nothing they can do that will make me love them less. Like, maybe, but love, no. :)
A chapter I read recently was on simplicity. So often I think of this as physically cleaning out the closets and bins of "stuff" that seem to accumulate. I LOVE doing this. There is something freeing about getting rid of "stuff." I think the simplicity God desires of us is much more than just "getting rid" of stuff, but the willingness to have an open hand with the things/people he has given us.
It's more about contentment than about the number of pairs of pants in my closet. He desires that I hold ALL He has given me with a grateful and open heart and hand.
There are times when He DOES ask us to give up things, or people. I believe it's much easier to do that when we have practiced the discipline of contentment. Like Paul says "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation." He wrote this from prison.
Back to simplicity. I don't have a hard time simplifying my possessions. We live in a small home, drive simple cars, and I don't require a lot of expensive things. (Although I do love me a good pair of UGG boots and a North Face jackets, I won't deny!)
But it's not a hard thing for me to hold those with an "open hand."
It's much harder for my to simplify the activities that fight for the quiet places in my soul. It is the day to day busyness that creates spiritual barriers that keep me from slowing down and hearing God's voice in the chaos of life.
For me, simplicity is making less of me, so that He can increase. (John 3:30)
It's about carving out time and places in my life for that to happen.
How can I focus on God when everyone around me is jumping (literally--Kayla right now...) up and down, fighting for my attention, waving their needs in my face?
Focusing on the simple truth that Jesus is Enough. I am enough when I focus on becoming like Him. Keeping my perspective.
Everything I do, I do for Him. This makes the mundane tasks, even the ones I enjoy have purpose. Simplifying life by focusing on doing it all for His glory.
It's about slowing down for me. Stopping, turning off the mixer to do my next task. Not just putting it on the slow speed while I try to do three other things at the same time. Meanwhile, over-mixing whatever is in the bowl because I couldn't slow down enough to focus on the present task at hand. Actually turning off the beaters of the to do lists, friends to meet, appointments to keep. Focusing on what is in front of me. Becoming more deliberate of living in Jesus' presence moment by moment.
I might have more patience with my husband and kids. I might have more joy in folding laundry. I might not worry so much about my "to do" list.
I might just experience the blessings of simplicity.
When I begin to let go of living the impossible standards I place on myself, I experience God's presence in a more real and tangible way.
Isn't this what I wish for my daughters to learn? To enjoy the life that God has given us? To not let society drive the decisions we make? To become confident daughters of The King. To desire to live our lives through His filter.
To live a life of thankfulness. Of contentment. Of Joy. Of Peace.
This is my prayer. I encourage you to find whatever "simplifying" means in your life.
Focusing on Christ. Moment by Moment. This is mine.
I've been reading "God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos" by Keri Kent. One of the best books I've read so far. A must read for all you young moms out there. She writes from in the trenches. She has two young kids, and writes about real life, happening now. Not as an older woman "looking back" at her "raising up kids" years. There is wisdom to be gleaned from those women too, but I just appreciate a different perspective!
I so appreciate her brutal honesty. It reminds me that I'm not alone in this often so lonely time of life. It's crazy how I can be surrounded by so much noise, and yet feel like I am drowning in my own piles of laundry, dishes, to do lists, and whining children.
I LOVE MY JOB! Don't get me wrong. My children bring me such joy. They have taught me more about unconditional love than anything else. I think I have a better understanding of how much Christ truly loves us now that I have kids. There is nothing they can do that will make me love them less. Like, maybe, but love, no. :)
A chapter I read recently was on simplicity. So often I think of this as physically cleaning out the closets and bins of "stuff" that seem to accumulate. I LOVE doing this. There is something freeing about getting rid of "stuff." I think the simplicity God desires of us is much more than just "getting rid" of stuff, but the willingness to have an open hand with the things/people he has given us.
It's more about contentment than about the number of pairs of pants in my closet. He desires that I hold ALL He has given me with a grateful and open heart and hand.
There are times when He DOES ask us to give up things, or people. I believe it's much easier to do that when we have practiced the discipline of contentment. Like Paul says "I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation." He wrote this from prison.
Back to simplicity. I don't have a hard time simplifying my possessions. We live in a small home, drive simple cars, and I don't require a lot of expensive things. (Although I do love me a good pair of UGG boots and a North Face jackets, I won't deny!)
But it's not a hard thing for me to hold those with an "open hand."
It's much harder for my to simplify the activities that fight for the quiet places in my soul. It is the day to day busyness that creates spiritual barriers that keep me from slowing down and hearing God's voice in the chaos of life.
For me, simplicity is making less of me, so that He can increase. (John 3:30)
It's about carving out time and places in my life for that to happen.
How can I focus on God when everyone around me is jumping (literally--Kayla right now...) up and down, fighting for my attention, waving their needs in my face?
Focusing on the simple truth that Jesus is Enough. I am enough when I focus on becoming like Him. Keeping my perspective.
Everything I do, I do for Him. This makes the mundane tasks, even the ones I enjoy have purpose. Simplifying life by focusing on doing it all for His glory.
It's about slowing down for me. Stopping, turning off the mixer to do my next task. Not just putting it on the slow speed while I try to do three other things at the same time. Meanwhile, over-mixing whatever is in the bowl because I couldn't slow down enough to focus on the present task at hand. Actually turning off the beaters of the to do lists, friends to meet, appointments to keep. Focusing on what is in front of me. Becoming more deliberate of living in Jesus' presence moment by moment.
I might have more patience with my husband and kids. I might have more joy in folding laundry. I might not worry so much about my "to do" list.
I might just experience the blessings of simplicity.
When I begin to let go of living the impossible standards I place on myself, I experience God's presence in a more real and tangible way.
Isn't this what I wish for my daughters to learn? To enjoy the life that God has given us? To not let society drive the decisions we make? To become confident daughters of The King. To desire to live our lives through His filter.
To live a life of thankfulness. Of contentment. Of Joy. Of Peace.
This is my prayer. I encourage you to find whatever "simplifying" means in your life.
Focusing on Christ. Moment by Moment. This is mine.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Summer, Storms and Strange Happenings
This is my favorite time of year!
Warm summer days with hours of play outdoors
Filling the small pink pool for the girls to splash around in
Taking the camper and making memories with our family
Walks outside
Boating on the river
Seeing the excitement in the girls' eyes as they tube behind the boat
Swimming lessons with Kayla
Seeing her becoming more brave during those lessons
Amber waves of grain rustling in the wind
The smell of harvest (one of my favorites!)
Watching the combines bring in the fruits of the year long labors
Bike rides
Listening to the sound of water running in my water fountain
Watching our own little crops grow in the garden
Canning with my mom
Pickling beets like my grandma taught me
The sounds of popping lids signaling success in a day of canning
Fresh raspberries over ice cream
Milkshakes
Summer BBQs with family and friends
Lots of birthday celebrations in our family
Summer Bible Study
Play dates with friends
We started the summer by taking a trip to Maui to celebrate my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. Just the adults went! We left all the "grandkids" home! We all had the time of our life. What a huge blessing to spend concentrated time just as adults. Our kids also had a fabulous time as they spent concentrated time with Ben's parents. That was a first (for the both of them), and they made such special memories.
We also have the privilege of celebrating Ben's parent's 40th wedding anniversary. We will spend 10 days in Montana.
We told both of our parents they got to choose what they wanted to do to celebrate this special occasion. It's it interesting that neither one of them wanted a big "party?" They just want/wanted to spend time with their family. What a special heritage we have the privilege of being a part of.
With these big "highs", there has been some very interesting "lows" so far.
In the past month:
This dishwasher went out and I was without one for a week (something I realize I completely take for granted)
My garden started developing some leaf turning yellow disease and started dieing
Two days later, we had the craziest hail storm anyone has ever experienced and we happen to be the heart of the storm: The camper got severely damaged, some house window casings were broken, the hail damaged most of our rain gutters by putting huge holes in them, the garden pretty much got flattened (some had recovered, thankfully, until the storm last night), and the hail threw gravel 4-5 feet INTO the yard and flower beds. If you know where I live, and my house, you know what a mess this is. I had to pick (still picking...) gravel out by hand. One little piece at a time.
Ben's pickup got struck by lightening
Ben developed an infection in his lung and was completely down for almost 3 days during the busiest time of the year
We had another storm come through last night that made another mess, and flattened what was left of the garden. Needless to say, I think I have received my three signs that I am NOT supposed to be doing a garden this year. :)
My hubby is gone a lot because of work since it's the super busy time, so I am often completely worn out at the end of each day
So what is one to learn through all of this? That is the question I have been asking myself daily. It can be easy to look at your circumstances and try to gain truth from that. One must be careful in that though. Truth shouldn't come from our circumstances. They can be so up and down. Truth is The Lord, so He is where we should gain our "truth."
In comparison (I know, we aren't supposed to compare) to so many others around the world, and even in this state, I am BLESSED. I have been given SO MUCH! But Satan knows where I am weak, and what will best tempt me. I pride myself on having and acting on so many GOOD ideas, that I sometimes wonder if they are a GOD idea.
I am in an Experiencing God class at our church, and it has been a great/challenging study. It's about knowing the doing the will of God. I have been doing the homework, and spending time with Him, working on my relationships with Him, but honestly, I am sensing some serious silence. I can't even explain it, but I sense I'm on the verge of hearing something important from Him. He always speaks to us, it's just a matter of if we choose to hear what He is saying.
It's been an interesting summer to say the least. So now I wait. I trust God that He is the orchestrator of all, and ask Him to give me His perspective on my "circumstances" and for Him to reveal Himself and what He has to teach me (us) through this.
Have a great rest of summer!
Warm summer days with hours of play outdoors
Filling the small pink pool for the girls to splash around in
Taking the camper and making memories with our family
Walks outside
Boating on the river
Seeing the excitement in the girls' eyes as they tube behind the boat
Swimming lessons with Kayla
Seeing her becoming more brave during those lessons
Amber waves of grain rustling in the wind
The smell of harvest (one of my favorites!)
Watching the combines bring in the fruits of the year long labors
Bike rides
Listening to the sound of water running in my water fountain
Watching our own little crops grow in the garden
Canning with my mom
Pickling beets like my grandma taught me
The sounds of popping lids signaling success in a day of canning
Fresh raspberries over ice cream
Milkshakes
Summer BBQs with family and friends
Lots of birthday celebrations in our family
Summer Bible Study
Play dates with friends
We started the summer by taking a trip to Maui to celebrate my parent's 40th wedding anniversary. Just the adults went! We left all the "grandkids" home! We all had the time of our life. What a huge blessing to spend concentrated time just as adults. Our kids also had a fabulous time as they spent concentrated time with Ben's parents. That was a first (for the both of them), and they made such special memories.
We also have the privilege of celebrating Ben's parent's 40th wedding anniversary. We will spend 10 days in Montana.
We told both of our parents they got to choose what they wanted to do to celebrate this special occasion. It's it interesting that neither one of them wanted a big "party?" They just want/wanted to spend time with their family. What a special heritage we have the privilege of being a part of.
With these big "highs", there has been some very interesting "lows" so far.
In the past month:
This dishwasher went out and I was without one for a week (something I realize I completely take for granted)
My garden started developing some leaf turning yellow disease and started dieing
Two days later, we had the craziest hail storm anyone has ever experienced and we happen to be the heart of the storm: The camper got severely damaged, some house window casings were broken, the hail damaged most of our rain gutters by putting huge holes in them, the garden pretty much got flattened (some had recovered, thankfully, until the storm last night), and the hail threw gravel 4-5 feet INTO the yard and flower beds. If you know where I live, and my house, you know what a mess this is. I had to pick (still picking...) gravel out by hand. One little piece at a time.
Ben's pickup got struck by lightening
Ben developed an infection in his lung and was completely down for almost 3 days during the busiest time of the year
We had another storm come through last night that made another mess, and flattened what was left of the garden. Needless to say, I think I have received my three signs that I am NOT supposed to be doing a garden this year. :)
My hubby is gone a lot because of work since it's the super busy time, so I am often completely worn out at the end of each day
So what is one to learn through all of this? That is the question I have been asking myself daily. It can be easy to look at your circumstances and try to gain truth from that. One must be careful in that though. Truth shouldn't come from our circumstances. They can be so up and down. Truth is The Lord, so He is where we should gain our "truth."
In comparison (I know, we aren't supposed to compare) to so many others around the world, and even in this state, I am BLESSED. I have been given SO MUCH! But Satan knows where I am weak, and what will best tempt me. I pride myself on having and acting on so many GOOD ideas, that I sometimes wonder if they are a GOD idea.
I am in an Experiencing God class at our church, and it has been a great/challenging study. It's about knowing the doing the will of God. I have been doing the homework, and spending time with Him, working on my relationships with Him, but honestly, I am sensing some serious silence. I can't even explain it, but I sense I'm on the verge of hearing something important from Him. He always speaks to us, it's just a matter of if we choose to hear what He is saying.
It's been an interesting summer to say the least. So now I wait. I trust God that He is the orchestrator of all, and ask Him to give me His perspective on my "circumstances" and for Him to reveal Himself and what He has to teach me (us) through this.
Have a great rest of summer!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Grace Upon Grace
If you haven't heard of Ann Voskamp, it is well worth your time to check her out. Here is a link to her blog: http://www.aholyexperience.com/
Today she talked about how there is and always will be more grace to have. I was reminded of a verse I actually based a devotional on that I shared a couple years ago.
John 1:16 says, "For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace."
Another version says "Because he was full of grace and truth, from Him we all received one gift after another."
This gift is GRACE. Something not one of us deserves, yet something we are delt. Over and over again. It doesn't stop.
If He can save me so esaily, then why don't I rest my weary head in His hands? Why do I think I can get through it if I just congure up enough strength to get through the next task? I can do this until I have nothing left. Why do I wait until I reach this point?
I can believe that he gives this grace, but I don't really start living until I believe in this grace alone. I must rest my weary heart and take hold of this glorious grace.
How do I get through the every day? What happens when I feel like this grace has run out? It won't. That is the beauty. More grace will be given in the moment that it is needed.
More grace will be given.
Grace upon Grace.
One gift after another.
There will always be...
-Piles of laundrey that don't get folded
-Moments of impatience with my 3 year old
-Arguments with my husband
-Hurtful words exchanged
-Meals that have to be cooked
-Dishes that have to be done
-Children demanding every ounce of energy I have (and even onces I don't)
-Children's naps being too short
-Sickness, sickness and more sickness
-Feelings of being trapped in my own home with the incredible blessings I have been given
-Feelings of guilt for having those feelings of being trapped
-A questioning of my purpose during this season
-People needing help
-People who let me down
-The horrible beast of expectations on myself and others
-The many times when I fall short
-Bills to be paid
-Not enough sleep
-Did I mention sickness?
Yet more grace will be given each day. Just when I don't have the strength in me. I can fall into his arms of grace.
"He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youth (Rachel) grow weary and tired and vigorous young men (Rachel) stumble badly, yet those (Rachel) who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they (Rachel) will mount up with wings like eagles, they (Rachel) will run and not get tired, they (Rachel) will walk and not become weary."
Isaiah 40:29-31
I'm so thankful for this grace. I'll be honest. It has been a long winter for me. In many of the ways expressed above. Yet I have this Grace. Given so freely. Why would I not simply accept it?
Thank you for this Grace. This gift. Poured out over and over and over again!
Today she talked about how there is and always will be more grace to have. I was reminded of a verse I actually based a devotional on that I shared a couple years ago.
John 1:16 says, "For of His fullness we have all received, and grace upon grace."
Another version says "Because he was full of grace and truth, from Him we all received one gift after another."
This gift is GRACE. Something not one of us deserves, yet something we are delt. Over and over again. It doesn't stop.
If He can save me so esaily, then why don't I rest my weary head in His hands? Why do I think I can get through it if I just congure up enough strength to get through the next task? I can do this until I have nothing left. Why do I wait until I reach this point?
I can believe that he gives this grace, but I don't really start living until I believe in this grace alone. I must rest my weary heart and take hold of this glorious grace.
How do I get through the every day? What happens when I feel like this grace has run out? It won't. That is the beauty. More grace will be given in the moment that it is needed.
More grace will be given.
Grace upon Grace.
One gift after another.
There will always be...
-Piles of laundrey that don't get folded
-Moments of impatience with my 3 year old
-Arguments with my husband
-Hurtful words exchanged
-Meals that have to be cooked
-Dishes that have to be done
-Children demanding every ounce of energy I have (and even onces I don't)
-Children's naps being too short
-Sickness, sickness and more sickness
-Feelings of being trapped in my own home with the incredible blessings I have been given
-Feelings of guilt for having those feelings of being trapped
-A questioning of my purpose during this season
-People needing help
-People who let me down
-The horrible beast of expectations on myself and others
-The many times when I fall short
-Bills to be paid
-Not enough sleep
-Did I mention sickness?
Yet more grace will be given each day. Just when I don't have the strength in me. I can fall into his arms of grace.
"He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power. Though youth (Rachel) grow weary and tired and vigorous young men (Rachel) stumble badly, yet those (Rachel) who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they (Rachel) will mount up with wings like eagles, they (Rachel) will run and not get tired, they (Rachel) will walk and not become weary."
Isaiah 40:29-31
I'm so thankful for this grace. I'll be honest. It has been a long winter for me. In many of the ways expressed above. Yet I have this Grace. Given so freely. Why would I not simply accept it?
Thank you for this Grace. This gift. Poured out over and over and over again!
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Just some thoughts...
We are publically dedicating Audrey to the Lord tomorrow. This doesn't save her, or make her "spiritual" or anything like that. It is a commitment to raising her in a Godly home, training her in the ways of the Lord. Committing ourselves to teaching and training her-not relying on anyone else to do it for us.
We don't take this lightly. In a way, we are asking for accountability in this by doing it publically. We will ask our church body to help us in this journey. We are blessed to have so much family here to be a part of this day as well.
Where has the last 7 months gone? Life seems to whirl by.
So thankful for these moments I am getting to spend with my girls. So thankful that I get to "stay home" (when am I ever home????) and be with them. Don't get me wrong, some days, I would relish the opportunity to go to work to get a break. But I would miss too many toothless grins and incredibly spunky faces.
I don't seem to find too much time to blog these days, but that's ok. I'm trying to spend my extra moments making memories with my girls, and taking care of our home so it is a refuge for all who enter in.
God is teaching me to just take a few moments each day to be thankful. Thankful for even the hard things. For the small things. For the great things. There is ALWAYS something we can be thankful for.
We don't take this lightly. In a way, we are asking for accountability in this by doing it publically. We will ask our church body to help us in this journey. We are blessed to have so much family here to be a part of this day as well.
Where has the last 7 months gone? Life seems to whirl by.
So thankful for these moments I am getting to spend with my girls. So thankful that I get to "stay home" (when am I ever home????) and be with them. Don't get me wrong, some days, I would relish the opportunity to go to work to get a break. But I would miss too many toothless grins and incredibly spunky faces.
I don't seem to find too much time to blog these days, but that's ok. I'm trying to spend my extra moments making memories with my girls, and taking care of our home so it is a refuge for all who enter in.
God is teaching me to just take a few moments each day to be thankful. Thankful for even the hard things. For the small things. For the great things. There is ALWAYS something we can be thankful for.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Audrey's Pregnancy
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